And....we're back!

Well, well, well. A looong absence from the social media world, yes, but never an absence from the message of TOB!

Despite my apparent lack of presence I have still been busy spreading the Theology of the Body not only afar, but also near...as our beautiful, squishy baby #3 just turned 6 months old!


You know you want a picture:

There. Now you know why I have been away: I've been too busy nibbling on baby cheeks (while chasing around a 4 1/2 and 2 1/2 year-old!) and the Mauss-household has been quite full of laughter, joy, and busy-ness. Not only that, but right after little Levi's arrival, I was busy at various youth groups (with said baby in a sling, might I add) sharing TOB with high-schoolers from St. Patrick's and St. Charles in Tacoma.

And I have lots more plans to do the same in this upcoming 2012-2013 year. Plans that take me to different churches all over the great Archdiocese of Seattle: down south to Vancouver, up North to Seattle, and even to the paradise island of Maui come January. (ah, the hard life, I know...)

Stay tuned for more info and more reflections on life, love, faith and the Theology of the Body. Oh, and you really want to keep checking in because you never know when I'm going to post more baby pictures.


See.

being a happy mom

Being a mom in today’s world is a tough gig. I’m not simply talking about the sleepless nights, or all-night feedings, or not sleeping, or the lack of sleep, but rather the intense and sometimes debilitating pressure we put on ourselves to simply be “good enough.” As women, we already feel this pressure from all sides – the pressure to be a good wife, a good cook, pretty enough, smart enough, holy enough, someone who has their house together, and on and on. But then you throw kids into the mix and a woman’s natural ambition to feel worthy gets kicked into overdrive.

On one hand, this ambition is a good thing. It keeps up focused. But on the other hand, it can morph into a beast that drives to tear us moms, us women, apart. In our pure motivation of wanting to be the best mom to our kids and wife to our husband and person to ourselves that we can be, we turn outwards and begin to compare. We compare homes, kids, activities, bodies, meals, and anything else that we can visually see in order to grasp whether or not we measure up. And, oh, how this becomes dangerous.

A couple months back I was feeling very restless. I felt like I couldn’t get control of my life and I constantly felt like I was one step behind. I tried to attribute it to our constant remodeling, having busy kids, or my morning sickness, but once those things passed (well, the kids are still busy…) I was still fighting to stay above water. I just couldn’t seem to get my act together. Once I conquered one task, 10 other things waiting to be tackled would stare me in the face. But even if I got all 11 things done, I still wasn’t happy.

What in the world is going on? I thought to myself. I have an amazingly supportive husband, great kids, and more blessings than I could count. I frequent the sacraments and I have a relationship with the Lord. But why did I feel like something was missing?

Around this same time I stumbled across a book by an author I love, Dr. Meg Meeker. I read two of her other books Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters and Boys Should be Boys and they were both fabulous. She is a mom, a pediatrician, and a strong Christian. She offers straightforward and sound advice that is meant for everyone from working parents to stay-at-home parents, and everyone in between. The book of hers I found is called 10 Habits of Happy Mothers.

Notice it reads “happy” mothers. Not “good” mothers or “respected” mothers or even “virtuous” mothers. Nope, just happy. And that’s what I was looking for.

Dr. Meeker opens by laying out the struggle that all moms face: to be good moms. But, she says, in order to be good moms, we need to be happy moms. That means letting go of the comparisons, the jealousies, the drive to have/be/do more, and the faulty notion that we aren't good enough. It means embracing the fact that we all have different talents and gifts to share with the world. And it means understanding that true happiness as a mother lies in our faith, in simplicity, in healthy friendships, and in enjoying being a mom.

This brings me back to my own struggle. Despite having made the strong commitment never to compare myself to or be jealous of others (especially of all my mom friends) I found these things creeping into my life. And frustrated that I couldn't do it all (like deep clean my house every week AND coupon AND make things from scratch AND run a ministry AND school my children AND be a loving wife AND cook amazing meals AND work out 6 times a week AND keep up my gardens AND........) I started taking it out on myself, my kids, and my husband. In trying to be what I thought was a good mom, I lost what being a happy mom is all about. To make matters worse, because of my own insecurities, I didn't want to bring any of this up to my close friends because I realized that my faults would be exposed - and for whatever reason I didn't like that vulnerability.

So, did I need more me time? Did I need to find extra help? No. I needed to simply let go. And this is where I rest today. I embrace my gifts and my faults. It's OK that I can't do it all, because I'm not supposed to. There are sacrifices to be made in living simply - sometimes the toilets get sacrificed for the floors, the gardens get sacrificed for time with my kids, couponing gets sacrificed for the laundry, time with my husband gets sacrificed so I can go work out, dinner gets sacrificed for my sanity, and the blog gets sacrificed for playing "dogs" with my kids (be right back). I always knew I couldn't do it all, but the turning point was when I finally told myself that this was OK.

And in the end, this is what my husband and children need: a happy mom.

A couple months after reading this book I can truly say I am more at peace, I yell less, I ask for help more, and I don't get as overwhelmed. I am not afraid of looking vulnerable or like I don't have it all together. And it feels great.

My prayer is that all moms can find this peace. Whether it be through reading Dr. Meeker's book or by embracing simplicity, I pray that we realize we are all good enough - that we can let go of our fears, embrace this beautiful call of motherhood however it looks for each of us, and be happy in the meantime.

To all my sisters in Christ, I love you!

For an excerpt of Dr. Meeker's book, clikc here.

Heading into battle

Ladies and gents, it’s time to get our armor on and head into battle. It’s time to realize that in our culture, our time, our age we will either be lost or we will become a martyr.

The intense battle being built up and waged by the Evil One and the Culture of Death is just getting started. We may think that Roe V. Wade and broken families are sad enough, but just wait. This is just child’s play to what the Enemy has up his sleeve.

You think I’m being harsh or “reading too much into things?” Or that I’m one of those “doom and gloomers” present in every era of history? If you simply read one or two of the articles linked below you know that I’m not bending things to make our times sound horrible. The death of the innocent and the outright persecution of those of speak up for the Truth is evident in all cultures, all age groups, and it’s getting worse.

No jail time for woman who strangled infant because Canada accepts abortion, says judge

Texas High School Student Suspended for Saying Homosexuality is Wrong

Chilling Stories of China's One-Child Policy

Facebook, Google, social media sites 'actively' censor Christian content: study

California homeowner fined for hosting Bible study in his house

Couple who would have aborted disabled son awarded 4.5 million for 'wrongful birth'

UK gov't collects data of 'homophobic,' 'racist' 3 year-olds

Pre-teens in South Africa given contraceptive injection without parental consent

Glenn Close: people who value gender differences will have to 'die off'

Ireland not backing down on forcing priests to break seal of confession


Now, I’m not going to say that everything is bad. There is much good happening in the Church, among young people who reject the failed prescriptions of the sexual revolution, and in families who recognize that it isn’t enough to send our kids out into the world without discerning every little thing. But what is bad is getting worse. And I guarantee that each and every one of us will face a choice, like the early Christian martyrs did.

Our choice will be this: 1) embrace the culture of relativism, sexuality as we define it, and reject the wisdom of the Church (in which case we can become lost); OR 2) just don’t do anything, don’t voice the Truth, and sit back idly because we don’t want to stir the pot – all the while maintaining the outward appearance that we are good Christians (in which case we can become lost); OR 3) take a stand, profess the Truth through reason and loving charity, and don’t let any fears get in our way (in which case we WILL become martyrs).

By speaking the Truth (especially in regards to abortion, homosexuality and the like) many of us will lose friends, lose our jobs, lose our freedoms, and yes, some of us may lose our lives. This isn’t something to take lightly, of course, and it isn’t something I say lightly. Free Speech and tolerance are no longer granted to those who speak Christian Truths. Again, just read the articles above if you want proof.

I have spent much of this summer reading and preparing in preparation for the busy Theology of the Body season ahead. But more than the knowledge I have received from different books and articles I’ve read, what has struck me the most is how much we all need to prepare for battle. This is a battle that won’t be waged in arenas such as the Coliseum but it will cost just as many lives. It will take place in our workplaces, our schools (whether Christian in nature or not), our homes, and even some of our Churches. We must prepare for this battle through prayer, learning about our faith and having reason to back up our beliefs, maintaining compassion and praying for those who struggle with what we say, and by preparing our minds and hearts for the persecution we will face.

We ask the Lord to give us strength to not shy away from the Truth. We ask Him to give us the words to speak and the actions to take. We ask Him to build our armor out of the faith and confidence that comes from knowing HE wins in the end and, if we stick close by His side on the battlefield, that we will join Him in this victory.

The Importance of Dad

I have been doing a TON of traveling these past couple months: some planned and some not. From a much needed weekend away with my girlfriends (um, first time in over 2 years) to an early celebration of my 5 year wedding anniversary with my husband, to camping with the kids, to even an unexpected trip halfway across the country to celebrate the life of my grandfather who passed away suddenly, I have had a lot of time to read and reflect on life - especially on what it means to be a parent. I have read some wonderful Catholic parenting books and, although I should be re-energized in my role as a mother, I am actually drawn to the powerful role that dads play in the lives of their children.

Since we have both a daughter and a son I have read books geared towards each gender along with general parenting books and the one underlying principle I have taken from each book is that "Dads, you matter. And you matter A LOT."

As a mom, I inherently know that I am important to my children. I provided them with a safe home for 9 months, nourishment from my body after they were born, and all the nurturing I know how to give. At times I have pointed to myself as the primary and greatest influence in my children's lives and, to be honest, society in general would probably say the same thing. So, needless to say, I was kind of put in my place when hearing that fathers are the greatest influence in a child's life when it comes to faith, morals, belief in God, self-esteem, and success in adulthood.

And you know what? It really makes sense! In a book called Legacy: A Father's Handbook for Raising Godly Children author Stephen Wood points out that:

"God the Father is the one who makes your fatherhood...so important in our children's lives. St. Paul said that earthly fatherhood derives its very name from God the Father (eph 3:14-15)...In the divine plan, a dad is a vital link in the process of a child finding a sacred relationship with God the Father. Every dad - for better or worse - is a living icon of God the Father for his children. Especially in early childhood, a father's daily life in the family (or absence from the family) forms the image of God the Father in his children. This is truly an awesome responsibility for dads." (p.xii)

Whoa. No wonder one of Satan's biggest wars is waged against fatherhood.

As a mother I now realize that, along with being the best I can be to my children, my other main job is to build up my husband both in my children's eyes and in his own. It is really tempting to assume that I know it all and that daddy is just the goofy big kid along for the ride, but I would be doing my kids and him a big disservice if I acted this way. If I want my kids to grow up with a love for God and the Catholic Church, if I want them to be humble, confident, and servants to others, if I want them to embrace their vocation as a response of love to God, I need to empower my husband with the truth that he really makes a difference.

The point that really drove this home was a piece of research that Wood cited in a section titled: "Dads: the cure for church dropout." The 1994 Swiss Study found in Vol. 2 of Population Studies says that, in England where 92% of Catholic young people stop practicing their religion once they leave school (the number is 95% in Australia), the cure for this massive church exodus is dad. Wood says:

"Research shows that if a father attends church regularly, he conveys a lasting lesson to his children...The study found that the one overwhelming critical factor is the religious practice of the father. Dads determine the church habits of their children, and thus, to a significant degree, their eternal destiny. Can't mom also do this? Shockingly the study reported that 'If a father does not go to church, no matter who faithful his wife's devotions, only one child in fifty with become a regular worshipper.' Yet, 'If a father does go regularly, regardless of the practice of the mother, between two-thirds and three-quarters of their children will become churchgoers (regular and irregular).' Therefore, your first step in building a lasting faith legacy is to attend church regularly"

Now, this doesn't get me off the hook as a mom, but it does highlight again that dad's are super important in the lives of their children. So, dads, I offer you this challenge: don't know much about your faith? Start by simply praying and seek out wisdom from those who do. Don't know much about how to relate to your children? Start by picking up a good, Catholic parenting book (like the one mentioned above) and apply one or two principles. Pray for your children. Talk to your children. Be an example for them in how you act, speak, and treat others. And know that God gave you great strength and wisdom to step up to the task in front of you. It may seem daunting, but our children's lives, and souls, depend upon you.

Why I can't post as much as I want to...

As someone who has a passion for spreading the Theology of the Body, I could spend all day reading, writing, and telling others of this life-changing message. There is so much going on in our world - from Lady Gaga to Arnold Schwarzenegger - that lends itself to be reflected upon in light of human sexuality as God designed it to be. I catch myself wanting to jump onto my computer (well, not literally) and type and type about the state of affairs in our culture in hopes of shedding light on the Truth of Christ.

But then, out of the corner of my eye, I see that there is a pile of dishes in the sink, a daughter who needs to be read to and a son who needs his diaper changed. And so I close my Facebook, switch off the blog, and tend to the needs of my home and family.

After discerning that the Lord was calling me to be a wife and mother, I knew that everything else in my life would have to take a back seat to my primary vocation. Yes, I had a love for ministry. Yes, I had a love for writing and speaking and many other good things in my life. But in calling me to my vocation, God was asking me to place everything aside to serve the needs of the ones he puts in my care. And, in doing so, He would ultimately give me the desires of my heart through a thriving ministry and many lives changed as a result.

This is the struggle that many of us face on a daily basis - especially when it comes to balancing the needs of our family with our mission of spreading the message of Christ. Even as I type this, my daughter is beckoning me to come play! (Just a minute honey, I'll be right there...) There have been times when I get frustrated, wishing I had more time to tell others about TOB and how the Catholic Church's teachings on sexuality have set me free. I wish I could travel to every parish and young adult group and high school in this diocese (and beyond!) in hopes of sharing the Truth.

But, alas, I have realized this is not necessarily what the Lord desires of me at this moment. He most desires that, along with my husband, I raise holy children filled with love, integrity, compassion for others, and a deep desire for Christ. And so, while I wish to be telling others about TOB, sometimes I must rather hug my children and know that if they were ever my only audience, this would be enough. If it is "only" them that hear God's message through me, and if they are changed as a result, then my job on earth would be complete.

Blessed John Paul II said, "As the family goes, so goes the nation, so goes the world in which we live." Taking head of this prophecy, let us turn towards those entrusted to our care and make it our primary goal that each one of them get to Heaven. Because it is by this means that the world will truly be changed.

He kept getting up

The other night, as I was waiting for American Idol to come on (go Lauren!), my husband and I stumbled across the Passion of the Christ movie playing on one of the Christian TV stations. Since we hadn't seen it in quite a while we paused our channel surfing and continued to watch this powerful film of Christ's passion, death, and ultimate resurrection.

The scene about to come on was the scourging of Our Lord. He had already been handed over to Pontius Pilate and was sent to be punished through flogging. Seeing this movie before, I knew what was coming, but much like the Passion narrative of the Bible, there is always something knew to be felt and experienced according to revelation of the Holy Spirit. So, I opened my heart and allowed Jesus to meet me during the moments of my witnessing, once again, this re-presentation of His brutal scourging.

The first thing that entered my mind was the fact that Christ endured this torture and death because of His intimate love for us. This wasn't simply some duty He had to fulfill. Theology of the Body has shown me that Jesus is my Bridegroom who has the same longing, passion, and love for me that my bridegroom on earth does. Jesus was motivated by pure, desirous love and a yearning for the gates of Heaven to be opened that I might spend eternity with Him in perfect union and ecstasy.

As Jesus was being strapped down and stripped, I heard His voice in my own heart tell me that the love He has for me was His motivation and strength. That His love for me got Him through the pain. I looked intently at the torture instruments - the reeds, the cat o' nine tails meant to inflict nothing short of death - and I could plainly see the damage to Christ's body being done. There came a point where Christ's strength seemed to leave Him and He fell, draped over the stump He was chained to. The soldiers, knowing that they weren't to kill him there, stopped their torture and retreated back. But then something happened. Christ got up. Now, if Jesus had just laid there, the scourging would've been done. The pain of this stage would be over. In getting up Jesus wasn't trying to prove a point that He was stronger than the soldiers believed Him to be, but rather that He was willing to to endure anything for His bride. He wasn't satisfied with "just enough to get by." Jesus wanted to give it all - every last ounce of His strength, His life to prove His overwhelming love for us.

I was then drawn back to myself and the fact that my love no where near measures up to Christ's. How many times do I take the easy way out or get by with proving my love "just enough"? How many times do I think about myself and what I get out of my relationships - especially my relationship with my husband? And if I were in Christ's position, would I stay on the ground in surrender or would I get up, too, to show those I love that I have more to give?

Jesus, thank you. Thank you for your unconditional and fervent love for me. You endured so much to prove that you would do anything to be with me. And you have asked, in return, that my love look like Your Love. How many times do I fail! I am not worthy to be called Your beloved, and yet You would do it all again, just to be with me. Teach me the ways of Your Love. Teach me how to endure through pain and suffering to show my love. May the ones You have given me - my spouse , my children, my family, my friends - see Your Love in me. And let me never tire in the ways of love, so that I may one day be united to You in eternal bliss.


No greater love has one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends."

John 15:13

Receiving the Gift of the Bridegroom

Tonight is one of the most spectacular, amazing, and truly holy nights in the Liturgical year. At Easter Vigil not only do we await the Lord's resurrection, but we welcome new members into the Body of Christ - people who will, for the first time, receive the intimate gift of the Bridegroom.

During months of preparation, catechumens and candidates prepare for this union - and it is no coincidence that people are received into the Catholic Church at Easter, rather than at Christmas or any other time. For on Good Friday, Christ gives His body for us, His Bride. (This spousal gift on the cross is even punctuated by the fact that Christ's last words on the cross, "It is finished," translated into Latin are, "Consummatem Est." It is consummated.) It is on the cross that Christ fully and completely hands over His life to be united to us, not in some arbitrary sense, but in the literal. By His death the gates of Heaven were opened and it is in Heaven where we become ONE with God.

But it doesn't stop there. Christ gives us Heaven right here on earth. Where? In the Eucharist. As Catholics we believe the Eucharist to be the Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity of Christ - the very same Christ on the cross is fully present under the disguise of bread and wine. And it is during the Triduum, where we remember and attempt to relive the events of the first Triduum, that we call others to become fully united to Christ, through their Baptism (vows) and reception of the Eucharist (consummation of those vows).

Although I can't attend the Vigil this evening (I don't think my one and three year old would last that long past their bedtime!) I will be praying for those who will be united to Christ. I am excited to welcome them into the loving and intimate embrace of Jesus - an embrace I recall each and every time I receive Him in the Eucharist and an embrace I recall every time I look at the cross. I hope you all will join me in praying for these catechumens and candidates - that Jesus will join their minds, bodies, hearts, and souls with His so that we all may be one.