Filling our hunger for Love

There is no denying the fact that we all want to be loved. We all want someone - whether it be a parent, a friend, a sibling, a boyfriend or girlfriend, or a spouse - to love us, cherish us, think about us, and love us. We want to feel validated and like we are worth something in someone else's eyes. And you know what, this is a good thing.

Upon creation of man and woman, and upon the creation of our very own lives, God wrote this desire of love on our hearts. He implanted the longing to be filled by another. He wanted us to seek out this desire and not to push it under the rug. Again, love and wanting to be loved is a good thing.

Since we have this desire, and we want this desire to be filled, how do we go about finding love? What is the right way to fill this hole in our hearts?

According to Christopher West, a prominent speaker on the Theology of the Body, there are 3 main ways, 3 "gospels" one might say, that propose to satisfy this ache for love:

The first is something many of us may have encountered when hearing our parents or those with Christian authority speak about sexuality. It goes something like this: "Don't have sex until you're married because sex is a beautiful thing." or"Follow God's rules because He says so and because it will make you happy." And that's that...no further explanation. While both of these statements are true and good in and of themselves, and while those who speak them have good intentions, they leave something to be wanting. Statements such as these may plant good seeds in our hearts and keep us living God's plan for our sexuality for sometime, but eventually these answers leave us empty and, as a result, searching for answers with deeper meaning, with deeper logic. This is called the "starvation gospel." Eventually our hunger for love will return (as we can only suppress it for so long) and we will be seeking a different path to follow because this one leaves us empty...

On the complete opposite of the spectrum is something called the "fast-food gospel." For those of you who have seen the documentary, "Super Size Me" you remember that a man attempted to eat nothing but McDonald's for 30 days straight. Initially, it tasted goooood. And, coming off a vegan diet, he thought, "Man, I get to eat THIS for the next month?! This is AWESOME!" But eventually we can figure out what happens: he gains weight, his organs start shutting down, he gets tired and sick and is headed towards death if he doesn't start changing his ways. This is very much like the gospel of love that our world proposes. Our culture says, "You have a desire for love? OK, then fill it. Fill it now and with whatever tastes goooood. Whenever you have a desire, act on it - right now and without delay. Fill it with whatever sexual pleasures are available at the moment because those are the ones that taste and feel the best." But we all know what happens with this kind of unrestricted action: it may feel good in the beginning, but whether it be 30 days or 10 years down the road, we begin to breakdown. This type of love is based on instant gratification and self-seeking and can only fill us for so long before we realize its emptiness.

But luckily for us, these aren't the only ways to fill our desire for love. Repression? NO! Indulgence? NO! So, what is left?

God is so good that, not only does He want us to seek love, but He gives us an incredible and truly fulfilling way to find it. His way is by means of the Wedding Feast of the Lamb...The Banquet gospel. Our Lord proposes to fill our desire for love with His very self. Like a man asking for a woman's hand in marriage, God asks us to be a part of the most intimate and fulfilling relationship out there: a marriage with Him - with God as our Bridegroom and us, humanity, as His Bride. Not only that, but he goes one step further. Since God gave us a hunger for love, He actually came as food to fill it - Jesus Christ in the Eucharist. Whenever we consume the Holy Eucharist - the Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity of Christ - we fill our hearts with True Love Himself.

And from here, God wants us to go forth and build the rest of the relationships in our lives in imitation of our relationship with Him - relationships built upon sacrifice, selflessness, and seeking the good of another. For it is through these means that our hunger for love can only truly be filled.

We know that God wants us to be happy. So it is fitting to say that His way will make us the happiest. He knows the desires and longings of our hearts even better than we do. If we simply hand over our lives, and subsequently our hearts, to Him, He will lead us on the path to fulfillment, peace, happiness, grace, and love. Let us enter deeper into relationship with Him, let us allow Him to fill the holes in our hearts, let us draw closer to our Bridegroom. And, as a result, let us experience the amazing love that God has in store for our lives.